SESSION & AUDIO
Questions & Answer
1) Dear T.S.: On Nov. 6, 1996 my 25-year-old son was killed by a hit & run driver in Buffalo. How should one respond to this "tragic" event? I am trying to understand death and reality from Seth's view (Seth is a channeled entity or personality who presented the idea that we create our reality through our beliefs). Or do I pretend to feel the old-fashioned way so as not to cause any waves in the family? Would this seem callous and cruel to others in your family or friends...who don't really know, understand, or believe Seth-type things? All the immediate reactions of shock, horror, grief, desperation, Esc are mostly tied to the typical "surface" views of death and accidents, that they just happen...Also, how should you counsel someone in this situation? I would like to understand the following: What was my son's life's purpose? Why did he choose to die when he did and how he did?
Dear C: How to approach a tragic event when the family is not aware of the idea of one creating ones own reality? You need not worry about their reaction. Allow them to grieve in the way that they choose. All the while understanding that on an unconscious level, they know what you are beginning to understand consciously about reality. Everyone comes to their own understanding in their own time frame. As to yourself, we would suggest that you grieve in the way that you feel is important to you. If you find that you cannot exhibit the type of grief that the others do, you need not apologize for it merely stating that this is how you wish to honour the memory of your son. State that you feel comfort in knowing that within this event much is to be learned and to be appreciated. Do not attempt to get into a heated discussion or to defend your position, as they will then have to defend theirs. Merely allow for this event to offer 'you' what you need, and allow it to offer the others what they need.
As to the purpose of your son's life, and why he chose to leave it in that fashion. Realize that his purpose was to experience all that he had, allowing himself to be part of further evolving in order to understand the idea of reality. Offering you a wonderful gift of understanding. Why he chose that way? Well, that way seems to engender, among those who remain behind, the most difficulty in dealing with or understanding it. Accidents and suicides are two methods of leaving the earth plan that seem to create the most confusion. These events bring into play many aspects that would not otherwise be present. So again, this individual has provided a wonderful gift of learning.
2) Dear T.S.: With whom do you see me settle down with? What is my career choice? I have been trying to settle for the last 10 years and nothing/nobody feels right. All the 'right' men for me are married with children. Any and all help will be appreciated.
Dear L.H.: It is not a matter that you have been searching and have not found. It is that you have been expecting, but you do not believe that it can come from you. So if you do not look in that quarter you will keep searching for something that you cannot name. Your desire to be within a relationship and to have someone care for you is something that everyone desires. However, before you can allow yourself to draw that type of individual to you, you need to come to terms with loving yourself, enjoying what you are doing, and pursue a career or actions that you are thoroughly happy and passionate about. If you focus too intently on wanting a relationship you will loose sight of your own talents, and you will spend much time looking elsewhere. When all you need to do is look into the mirror and realize that you can accomplish anything you choose, for the answers lie within.
Allow yourself to take time to love yourself unconditional first, and do the things that excite and that you are satisfied with, everything else will fall into place and you will meet that individual. Now we do sense that the highest probability for this meeting, will be no longer than three years. But even that time frame can change.
We have given this exercise to many, and we offer it to you. Out of all the things that you are interested in, and you say there are many, we would suggest that you make three lists.
The first list contains things that you either were trained to do, or have learned through experience that you can do. The second list, call it your 'wish list', contains all the things you daydream about doing. The activities you consider to be fantasies, but absolutely fascinate you nonetheless. Compare the two lists. Some items from the first list will either match or will have some communality with those on the second list. Place those similar items on a third list, which may contain three or four items. Now rate each item, on the third list, by placing number 1 on the item that appears to be the most outrageous, or far fetched, the one that invokes the most trepidation, if it were to come to pass. Then number 2, on the second least to occur, and so on.
After assigning l, 2, or 3 value to those items on the third list, take the one you rated as #1, and over a one week period, prior to sleep, visualize yourself engaged in this activity and living a life that includes that type of work. At the end of that week focus on how you feel after visualizing yourself living that kind of life. Really get into the feelings, and then, in the next moment think of your life without that activity. Totally, ripped it from your future and note how you feel.
If you chose to engage in this exercise, we sense that you will ultimately discover what it is you need to do. We could also go into a past life connection, however, at this point in time doing this exercise will accelerate your growth, and then a past life connection will automatically come to you.
3) Dear T.S.: A friend mentioned to me that she had written to you regarding concerns for abilities and education of her children and she found your advice very useful and enlightening. My life at this time is very busy and my activities (work, children - ages 22, 19, 11, and 4. The two older children don't live at home - to care for, house projects) are exhausting my reserves. I am in real estate sales and have enjoyed, if I compare myself to some of my colleagues, a certain measure of success in the past year. However, I might do better elsewhere but the expenses will be higher. I enjoy helping people and direct contact with the public. What I don't like is the unsavoury types that are also selling and who I deal with occasionally. It seems I have had to develop a 'thick skin' to endure the tremendous ups and downs of this business. That is why, now, I feel I must make a decision whether to change offices, stay where I am, or just choose another path.
The adjustment has been considerable for my family as well. My oldest has always worried me the most. They are all different personalities and I realize they must make their own decisions and mistakes and hopefully learn by them. My husband has found my working outside of home very difficult. They will adjust, I can't stay home forever. The office I work from is small and it is becoming more difficult to work in that environment, I don't know what to do.
If you can suggest something, I would appreciate it. Dear C.P.: The reason why you found yourself in that particular career setting, is precisely for all the things that you have listed. To begin with, the idea of having to develop a thick-skin, although not necessarily the term we would use. We would lean more toward the idea that your unconscious knows why you are there, and that you are taking from that experience what you need. For you can pursue that career without having to deal with, as you say, 'shady people'. Your choice at having drawn these people to yourself might signify your sense of self-worth as it pertains to the tasks you need to perform within this particular job. Yet this opportunity has allowed you to meet individuals, since you do enjoy helping others coordinate with the services, so that your clients feel comfortable and satisfied at having found something that they can truly enjoy.
The idea of having difficulty with husband and your work, we do sense that that is only because you are having difficulty coming to terms with this particular industry. This will shortly change. For we do sense a move to another company. But for this to come to pass, you need to be comfortable within yourself and be able to enjoy this work and the training that you have been accumulating, and know that this will only be temporary. You needed to go through this experience, to experience the confidence within yourself to succeed as you've said you have succeeded. And that was all very important for you.
As to children, what they do need is for someone to listen to them, and support them in their ideas. To challenge them with their ideas; to bring forth conversation, and if you attempt this you will realize that there is much wisdom within your children.
As you become more accustomed to the idea that you are talented, that you enjoy people and being of service to others, you will develop a stronger confidence within these areas that will allow future transitions not to be so difficult.
(4) Dear T.S.: I'm intrigued with the idea of starting a business with my friend. Can you impart any more information? I'm presently pregnant with my fifth child. I have remarried and this will be my husband's first child. My second question is: Should I stay home after the initial nine months home - Sept. '98 - being the date that I would be teaching again.
And finally how can I access some of this information without using you as a go-between.
Thank you so very much. You've made a difference in my life.
Dear L.C: To the venture that you and friend can enter into, it has to do with children and creativity. It involves exploring the needs of mothers and their unborn children. Certain items that would be helpful during that time period - little odds and ends, that would have made the time more easier. The reason for our vagueness is that both you and your friend need to come to terms with wanting to work together. You can also explore our suggestion, along with any other ideas that fuel your collective imaginations. However, we can suggest that the area that surrounds 'babydum' is indeed an area with many possibilities. As to going back to work, we do sense that it will come to pass. However, as you decide about this new venture this will help change your direction, and you will find that you will use your talents differently than you have up to this point.
Now as to how to access this type of information without having to utilize someone of our nature. The answer resides within the ability to calm your thoughts. Indeed that is the key to contacting your guides and other energies. Once you are more comfortable with the practice of meditation, it will become stronger and allow the more subtle non-physical energies, that are around you, to flow and be of assistance to you. However, always remember that all of this information we are giving you, or that your guides or anyone else may give you, is merely information that you take and assess within yourself. Define how it feels and how it can work for you. If it goes against some feeling within yourself then set it aside. For ultimately placing trust within your internal intuitive instincts is what really needs to happen. This will allow you to discern, upon hearing any information, if you wish to pursue it or not.
(5) Dear T.S.: I just turned 28 years old and feel very lost and somewhat discouraged when it comes to what I want to do with my life. Since graduating from university I've tried acting, writing, psychology, graduate school, but have repeatedly grown bored with each one. I've always been very interested in the spiritual side of life and have been practicing Buddhist meditation for eight years, but I don't see how I can make that a career choice (I'm not prepared to become a nun). Do you have any suggestions? Thank you very much for your assistance.
Dear J.L.: There is no necessity for you to become a nun, since in four of your many lives you were a nun. So in this current life time it is not your choice to move into that experience. However, this does not mean that you cannot incorporate those values and ideas that you are learning from the Buddhist philosophy with teaching, counselling, or using your creativity in the acting field. Whichever way you can assist others to understand themselves better. How one can include all of these together, as from your experience in acting, you know that you literally take on someone else's character, learning much from that transformation. Why not play with this idea and begin to consider some form of counselling or assisting others that includes the ideas presented through Buddhism. Add to these ideas the fun involved in acting or doing improvisational experiential type of therapy, as it were. The boredom has come from not believing that you can put all of these ideas together by using bits and pieces and thereby present a fresh approach to how one can understand themselves visa vie their reality.
(6) Dear T.S.: I'm writing to you for some insight into the future. My life has been satisfying with the usual ups and downs - however, over the past couple of years I've become restless and in need of accomplishing more. To this end, I started quite by accident, a small business venture that is slowly getting off the ground. Will my business flourish and provide a stable income? Will my restlessness subside soon and some new direction present itself? I have met a gentlemen and our relationship has become very close and so comfortable! Are we destined to be together happily and healthily? Forever?
Thanking you in advance
Dear S.B.: We do sense that the venture will flourish, and that indeed if you allow this to be still a playful and enjoyable experience, it can become as successful as you wish. The restlessness is the unconscious excitement of tuning into possible future events, if you will, and you are sensing all the exciting and very joyful experiences that are coming for you. We suggest that you take a deep breath, relax and trust that what you are doing is what you need to be doing. Focus on the excitement of continuing with this venture and bring into this experience different methods of doing this type of activity. As to this individual, primarily it is to show you that indeed you are desirable, and that you can find someone who is in tuned with you. There have been past lives with this individual, however, this time around we would suggest that you enjoy each and every moment and do not worry about where it has to go. Trust within the infinite beauty of the moment, and cherish each moment that you share together, allowing yourself to fully enjoy where you are. Realize that it is through each step and decision that you make, that ultimately this will get you to those other time frames that you are tapping into. Continue to focus on the ventures that you have begun and the joy of the relationship. It was not accidental, you drew it to yourself. You needed change and change is what you have received.
(7) Dear T.S.: Could you please explain the physical and mental impacts of mercury amalgam dental fillings - the impacts on an individual's physical and psycho-electromagnetic fields and energies - as well as how to deal with those impacts in the interim of removal. In addition, what replacement filling materials do you recommend.
Dear Q.B.: As to what fillings we recommend, there several types of fillings and ample experienced dentists that could be consulted. The impact is that at the time the mercury fillings were used, there was a heaviness around society, and around civilization in general. When that heaviness began to lift, all the hindrances were becoming recognized and therefore could be changed. To keep the fillings in can slow the process of relieving the heaviness within ones life, and the mercury will continue to be part and parcel of the third density reality. When one is prepared to change then taking out the fillings will be effortless and not cause any difficulties. The individual will then be more in line with the acceleration that is taking place.
(8) Dear T.S.: I am writing to figure out in which direction to move. For the past two years I have felt as if I were at a complete standstill. Both my career and relationship are affected by this. Do you have any reflections on what I could do?
Dear C.M.: There are several things that one can do. However, let us 'cut to the chase' as you say, we do sense that within the next year, year and a half, there will be tremendous changes. These changes will bring you closer to that which you want to be doing. Eventually culminating, so that within five years, you will find yourself involved with individuals who you will feel totally comfortable with, and become involved with activities that will cause you to feel fulfilled. Now this period of time that you have termed, 'stuck or not going anywhere', let us briefly explain what is going on - you are internally shifting. All aspects of yourself are realigning, so that we would suggest you be kinder to yourself. Allow yourself jot down the things that you feel you have learned, and how you might apply this learning to the future events. Undoubtedly you will discover that you have more talent, more possibilities and more creativity than you have given yourself credit for.
(9) Dear T.S.: Within the past year my life has gone through enormous turmoil. I feel out of control and need to find some balance, in order to understand what I need to do next. I do not feel towards my husband of 16 years the way I used to. I'm not sure if it was because he confessed to me he had an affair or if it is because I have met a very nice man where I work.
Also over 20 years of driving, I have never lost points or even had a traffic ticket. Now within this last years I have had 2 points twice and I'm uncertain what this really means. I need to get some perspective with regard to my relationship and career. If you can offer any suggestions, I would be very appreciable.
Dear V.F.: The two incidence, not feeling as you once did for husband and losing the traffic points, which you have not experienced before, are connected to your search for something within your career. The fact that your husband has confessed, of course hurt your pride, your sense of self and it did cause anger. It is not a coincidence that you have found someone else who would show you that indeed you are still desirable. Therefore, the relationship with husband is, in and of itself, needing to be either updated, reflected upon or decision made about what action you are comfortable taking. If after all is said and done the feelings are no longer there, then of course there are always options. However, if all of this is stemming from your need to be creative, to find yourself, and to really understand your place in the world, then we would suggest pursuing that direction.
As to the traffic points, we do sense that it was a way for you to tell yourself that something was amiss, and that things, as you have known them before, are no longer viable. Therefore, looking at the circumstances around you, and seeing where you might alter some of your beliefs and attitudes about yourself. Also, reassessing what it is that you bring to the relationship, to the family and to the work place, and where you wish to express your creativity.
All of these events and questions have come at a time when indeed you are searching. We sense that this is a very fruitful time to begin sorting things out. In this regard we do sense that this would be within the next three to four months. During that time you will discover that there are things about husband that you still care for, and that the traffic issue was but a reminder to be in the moment and in touch with your feelings. Yet underpinning all of this, is your desire to rediscover within yourself what makes your heart sing, your soul be joyful, and doing something that makes you can feel totally valid through your talents and creativity.
If you search these things out, they will not steer you wrong. The confusion is that you perceive all of these things coming down upon you, and feeling unable to handle them. Where to begin? We would suggest you begin with your creativity. For once you start to deal with that, you will find that if you continue to seek answers they will be there for you.
(10) Dear T.S.: I was born in Surrey, England and came to Canada with my parents in 1945. Much of my adult life has been spent in a co-dependency relationships with others. During the past four years I have started to do a lot of healing work with myself and I believe this has helped me to break off my last co-dependent relationship a year ago. I have recently become friends with a man, an Aquarian born in 1938 and although we have not yet had a 'formal' date we have had a number of telephone conversations. We have freely disclosed our likes, dislikes and expectations. We also have many things in common and laugh a lot.
Because we have both had 'bad' relationships in the past we seem reluctant to take the next step. I would welcome some input into this situation.
Thank you so much, sincerely
Dear A.B.: The relationship is one that will assist both of you. It does not, however, indicate that it has the components to 'go the distance', as you say. Although there are always possibilities, your interest in this individual may be waning after awhile. Yes, over the phone it is very compelling and the ideas and thoughts fly through the air, and it appears very much you have similar things in common. Indeed you do share some things in common, however, over the long haul it require more than what you are perceiving in the initial stages. Relationships require a depth, compassion and the ability for each individual to, in a sense, be supportive of the other, and this does take its time. We would suggest that you learn from this relationship, from this interaction. That indeed there are those individuals out there who can match and meet your vibrational frequency. One of the functions of this interaction is that you do take from it the idea that there are others who are willing to be with you, and to be there for you. We would suggest you may want to examine this relationship with the idea of being first being friends, and then if something else of a more romantic nature should develop, then that is all well and good.
However, to project this at the onset might cause you some difficulty, were it not to continue. Yet there is no absolute evidence that there is ahead for this relationship. However, we do sense that it can be an important relationship, so it can help you understand and learn the many different ways to interact within a relationship.
We would, therefore, suggest that you be honest with this individual, and up front with what you desire from a relationship. Also, that you allow for more time with this person, before you feel yourself totally within this romantic atmosphere. And if this relationship ought not to continue, for whatever reason, do not worry for there is always someone else in the wings. Even though many say that 'there will never be someone like him/her' and to that there is some truth. However, there will be someone and it will be different, and it will also be very much beneficial for you.
(11) Dear T.S.: I am having a lot of difficulties finding a career or job that satisfies me. I am 36 years old and I feel like I am still flailing around like a teenager. I have been told by a gestalt and astrological counsellor that I may have chosen careers in social services and nursing because I desire to heal my own wounded self. Yet I have been told by psychics and vocational counselors alike that these are not fields for me. They have told me I should be working in communications. i.e. teaching, writing, publishing, computers, the arts or healer of the mind. My day dreams ever since I was a child has led me to working with the poor and down trodden. Working for social justice either overseas in as third world country or with natives in this country. The counselor has told me that I am drawn to groups or people who have been treated like second class citizens and that's how I feel about my self. Also I have desire for recognition to prove my self worth to the world.
It all sounds sensible considering my past but these have been dreams since childhood and I feel left with nothing if I don't have these. When we are born, is it to perform one specific mission or is our mission to just find wholeness? It would really give me some peace of mind if you could give me some guidance in choosing a career. I was never really happy or satisfied with social type work and have not really gained any satisfaction from nursing. Will I ever be happy in this life?
Dear B.C.: To the question, will you ever be happy in life? Only you can decide on actions which will lead you to where you would be the happiest. However, the counselling you have received, that of your interest to seek individuals you can help, is in some respects a method of bringing yourself further understanding of self. Yet there are many more components to this issue that would be too lengthy to give at this time. To the idea that your talents lie in teaching, writing, publishing and computers, we can also confirm that you possess these abilities as well. However, we do not see that having talent in the above skills and your need to help others need to be separate. One can teach others how they can heal themselves; one can utilize all manner of mechanical tools to assist those individuals who can easily adapt to those tools, in order for them to earn a good living.
So, yes it is your desire that draws you towards helping others, not solely because it helps you, but it stems from a strong need to be of service to those who are in need. You may begin looking at your talents, those of being a teacher, writing, and computers, as part and parcel of your evolution. The confusion comes from you feeling that you have to pick one over the other, as well as not being totally satisfied with the social services, which, in their own way, appear to be limited and yet necessary for all those who feel they need to use them.
Therefore, might we offer the suggestion that you might want to think about a different way in which to use teaching, computer tools, writing, and all the other elements that you are drawing to you. These can be used in conjunction with helping others and not as a nurse, or a social worker, but more as a teacher who can assist the individuals to come out of their shell and recognize their own abilities. This in and of itself, would assist you as well creating a win/win situation.
Your difficulty arises when you think to yourself it must be one or the other, and that because you seek something out in order to help yourself, then some how this is not right, some how this is not what you need to be doing.
Do not worry so much about the semantics of it all, go with your feelings and be aware that you can blend and incorporate any aspect of these areas. Then allow the universe to bring you those opportunities which will reveal what you want to do.
(12) Dear T.S.: I recently read a letter, in your Fall Column, about a person who had a car accident and what it means. I, too, have been battling with this question in my own life. My accident happened three years ago on July/94. Just prior to the accident I had made the decision to leave for good (I've never felt attuned with this city). I received news of a job transfer and I was to leave July/97. I was ecstatic, finally a way out with security, having decided to pursue a course in Fitness after several unsuccessful career attempts in acting over the course of my six years and a very heartbreaking romance.
The accident happened on Canada Day, when my friend had called me and asked if I wanted to go to a concert. I had seldom celebrated that holiday, but after my decision to move into the new direction, I felt a celebration was in order. After a full day, as fate had it (or not I don't know), at 7 pm my friend and I decided to take a streetcar home.
As we were standing in the shelter, a drunk driver went out of control, flooring his car, and came through the shelter, throwing me on the hood, and my friend underneath the car and into a house. It was incredibly traumatic, seemingly random (with thousands of people around us) and which altered any plans that I had made.
I came out of the accident with some permanent injuries and a concussion. I'm still relatively okay considering, but here I am 3 years later, not only hating this city and wanting to leave, but also wanting out of Canada. Bound by the legal process, I am truly a prisoner here. If there is any hope, advice or words of wisdom you can provide me with, it would be much appreciated. Sincerely
Dear J.N.: Many times the lessons in life appear to have no rhyme nor reason. Yet out of that crowd you and your friend were to be singled out, as by fate. Yet, if one examines underneath all that had transpired before, there is a way to reconcile this event. Now it would be too lengthy for this format, however, we will attempt at brevity. Firstly, your desire to leave the city was not from a position of wanting to go towards something because things were wonderful here, and there were no difficulties. As you have stated your desire to be successful in the acting profession did not come to pass, as well a relationship had not achieved what you wanted. So that these emotions began to transfer themselves onto the location where you were residing.
This created more energy, more inertia, more anger, more desire to 'get away' from those things that were causing you pain. And then as luck would have it, (we would suggest more by design) this opportunity presented itself, affording you the ability to finally leave this place that felt like a burden, where you were unable to receive recognition for your talents. Also that your love was not returned. Leaving the city, in a subconscious way, was a 'way out'.
Yet, if one ascribes to the belief that you came into this life to learn the lessons that you have chosen, then the past three years are immeasurable. The acceleration in your growth that has taken place will only come to light in the next few years. The idea that one can run away from oneself, even though there is enormous pain, may be desirous, however, the soul understands what is needed. Although from your conscious awareness it is inconceivable that your soul would position you in such a predicament.
Yet, over the past three years, you have undoubtedly met new individuals, and have had to stretch your talents and stamina. There has had to be a very deep soul searching which has resulted in you being stronger. You have had to find ways in which to deal with things on a daily basis that you never before imagined yourself able to do, prior to the incident.
As to the lengthy court situation, once you are willing to let go of the anger, the self-recrimination, and accept the need for change and a reassessment of your abilities and beliefs, that ultimately you will be able to help others, the case will resolve itself. Your spiritual growth has increased by leaps and bounds, and as an aside, you have resolved and balanced three of your former lives.
What is causing your on going pain, is the resistance you harbour and that you are yet unable to see that indeed there was wonderment in the direction that was afforded you. And we do strongly suggest that you take your love for yourself and forgive yourself and know that there is nothing to forgive yourself for. Allow yourself to come to terms with this bitterness for if you choose not to carry it with you, reality will present you with enormous returns.
You will find that you court settlement will be exactly as you want, and it can be quick. You will then be able to leave, and we do sense that you will go abroad. However, it does all depend on you, for you can only make those choices. You have guides and other energies all around who care for you and support you. Do be aware that you are not alone.
(13) Dear T.S.: I am a 35 year old woman who seems to have come into a period of bad luck. For the past 7 years it seems that with every turn I hit a dead end. I'm unsure if I should pursue a career as a teacher. Also, my love life is very negative. I had met a man in school 7 years ago but he turned against me and hurt me very badly emotionally. I can't seem to get my life back on track. I hope you can give me some advice on what direction to take. I would really appreciate your help.
Dear M.S.: Reason for the disillusionment within the teaching area, is that you have become bored. Bored in the methods that you have had to employ. If you feel strongly about teaching, then of course there are many ways in which to teach, it does not have to be the way you have done it. However, we do sense that you have talent within yourself to branch out and do more than teach. You have abilities in writing, communication and in being a comfort to others in the area of counselling. Now as to this individual, it was not a coincidence that he found his way into your life. You were projecting an expectation for a relationship, and yet there was also an accompanying belief that somehow you could not sustain this happiness, so that believe had to be fulfilled. We do sense that you will be involved with someone else. The highest probabilities of this occurring will be in the later part of '98, early part of '99 is more in keeping with the time frame of this next interaction.
During the interim you are allowing yourself an opportunity to investigate what you liked about this previous relationship and all the things that it has brought to you. Also realize that when you met this individual there were many questions that you felt yourself unable to ask, and yet had you asked them you might have discovered that this individual had his own issues and difficulties.
This is not to say that you could not have or would not have continued with him, however, it would have given you an opportunity to think about it and to choose for yourself, if indeed that was what you wanted. If you wish to continue to feel hurt over this, then that is you choice, however, we do also suggest here that one might look at the whole circumstance as a wonderful way in which to move from a certain position and to move into a more expansive level. A level which will allow you to speak your feelings in what you want and if the other person does not agree, then you have a choice, for you need not continue with something that ultimately would end in hurting you, eliminating them before you even enter into those circumstances.
That truly is what all leaning is about. Is it not? It is the ability to understand and avoid potentially painful and hurtful events by questioning and expressing all the feelings and ideas without fear, through lessons derived from the previous situations. And that is all part of the lessons being learned. We would also suggest that 1999, would be a most interesting year for you, for there will be occasions where you will be placed prominently in the news. As you will be involved and associated with ventures which will be very well received.
(14) Dear T.S.: I am so discouraged my life seems to be going from bad to worse. I would like to have a baby especially a girl but things are not working out as I had hoped. I have also been looking for any type of work, I have been a manager of two different stores that were closed and now I'm told I'm over qualified. If you only answer one question please. Help me have the baby I would like to have in my life.
I would be so pleased if you can see some happiness in my life?
Do you do readings etc.
Dear D.L.: Happiness within an individual's life does not reside with someone else. The idea that a child would bring you that type of happiness is much pressure to be put on that child. It is this pressure that is keeping that child from being born into this world, not that you are doing it on purpose, but your need to have it so desperately keeps the energy from letting it flow. The reason being, that all life functions, there is an ebb and flow, and the forcing of something, or the mind wanting something so badly sets up certain static or blocks if you will. Energy vortexes are created that does not allow for the easy flow of energy to take place. There is an entity who would be only too happy be born into this world as you child, however, your desire to put all of your love and attention in having this child, in order to feel fulfilled and happy, is indeed much to expect. You may want to place more focus on your talents and explore these areas. There are other ways you can allow yourself to be happy, and if you seek to explore these talents, you will find that the pressure will be lifted and that not only a child but all the other aspects of your life will open up for you. We do sense that indeed there is, and that there are possibilities for two children. Yet it does require for you to relax and let go, and not putting so much pressure on having that to be the thing that will make you happy.
As far as you career is concerned, that also speaks to the issue of your talents and things that you can do in order to allow yourself to feel fulfilled. They are there and it would not take much to explore all the different things that you feel passionate and happy about. However, in this depressive state none of that would be clear, for it would be clouded. Also the idea of what depression really is, is quite misunderstood.
The idea of depression is merely a way in which one can look inwardly and explore past events with the aim to reassess and readjust certain beliefs and feelings about themselves and those past events. Then within a relatively short period of time, the individual emerges with a different understanding and perspective. This creates more clarity through which a new or different direction can be seen. The difficulty arises when the individual is not aware that they can emerge from the depressive state into a different frequency and with a different perspective. And that is what you are able to do, if you so desire.
(15) Dear T.S.: For two years I was involved in a relationship with a guy that was extremely difficult for me. The first year was very emotionally abusive. Even though it was officially over a year ago we were still 'seeing' each other for the past year and became closer as friends and lovers. However, whenever we started feeling really close, he would back off and become distant and treat me like a 'buddy', saying things like "we're not girlfriend and boyfriend you know". It's been an emotional roller coaster for me. He told me that I was the closest person to him and that he loved me but we couldn't be together. I can't just be his friend because it hurts too much and it's very draining for me. He is hurt by this and in turn this hurts me because I do love him deeply. I feel like he's an emotional vampire.
- Why on earth did I ever let this happen?
- Why do I feel such a strong tie to him that has been very hard to break?
- What relationship did we have in a past life?
Also I am in my mid-thirties and you guessed it, I still don't know what to do to make a decent wage. I am very unhappy making low wages doing jobs that are not fulfilling. Should I go back to school? And if so, what would be the best course of study for me.
Please give me some advice. I feel like my life is in a downward spiral. I find it so hard to not be a "my cup is half empty' kind of person.
Dear C.V.: All the circumstances that you have described are all stemming from one lesson and that is to trust and love yourself unconditionally. And not to think of yourself as only being valid if someone else appreciates, recognizes and loves you. This situation occurred for the simply reason that you needed to stand up and say to the person, "this is not suitable, I have other things that I can do with my time. And so if you are not serious then you might as well go and find someone who will play your games. I love myself too much to use the time in this fashion." You will find that as you stand up for yourself and gain the confidence, the idea of what you want to do in life will find it's way to you. The universe has been quite confused from your actions. Your reality does not know whether to bring you one thing or the other. For your mind tends not to focus on what you specifically want for a long duration. Not remaining long enough for events to unfold as they can. You look to the outside for your solutions, you see understanding through others eyes, and how they see you and feel about you. The spiralling effect is merely to wake you up to the idea that you have goals and purpose, and that all of this has to do with finding the confidence within.
As to the past life with this individual, it occurred in what is termed Peru, during the Inca time period. You were someone who was singled out to be sacrificed to appease the Gods. While you felt privilege and happy at having been chosen, you were not thrilled at the prospect of dying, even though you knew that that was your fate. So you pleaded for your life with this individual, who was one of the priests, and he agreed to save your life.
However, when it came down to that moment, he reneged on his promise and in a sense abandoned you. So now in this time frame, you are still seeking a way to let someone else be that for you. If this person loves you, and if only that would happen then you would be fulfilled. However, all you need to know is that you contain everything that you need within yourself to be able to achieve what you want.
So these lessons have been not only interesting, but most valuable. And we do suggest that you allow all that you have experienced to bring the wisdom that can allow you to regain the strength that is within yourself. For the future, indeed, is bright. You have much life to live and what reality is saying - take advantage of it.
(16) Dear T.S.: After reading the article in the Ontario's Common Ground Magazine I decided that you may be able to help me. I’m currently single and have been for 12 years. In the last 7 of those years I have been in two relationships, in both situations I have allowed the men to take advantage of me and they have both ended with me being very hurt emotionally an financially. I ask myself why is it that I am allowing these men to do this to me. I was trying to help them because I loved them. In the last situation I knew that it would not be permanent, he has been away from his family for 8 years. I helped to begin the process for his wife and children to come to Canada, he needed them and they need to be with him. In the last 2 months of the relationship he started going out to clubs, drinking and dancing with strange women, told me he was with friends and was not doing the things he was. He now says that he is sick in his head and does not know why he does these things. I made him move out.
My job has not gone well, I had to make a major change in direction in the responsibilities as well as the type of skills and functions, I am finding it really difficult, and at this point don't really like what I am doing. Also every time I apply for a position I am qualified for and interested in I am not offered the position for various reasons. At this point I feel very discouraged about my work and relationships. I know that some of this was my fault, and I could have stopped, but once in a relationship it is very hard to stop. I want someone in my life who I will love. It always seems to evade me. Where the jobs are concerned I just am not able to convince them that I am the right person for the job.
Is there any advise other than staying in my current position and not entering a relationship again, that you can give me. I have taken courses on self esteem and over many years read a lot of books to try to improve myself with success in many ways. However the final result remains the same. I am 52 years old, have had my children living with me, just recently I moved out on my own. Right now my finances are very poor. When will things change for me? Thank you
Dear A.A.: Change is a very consistent thing. When will things change for you? They already are. We understand your question of course - when will all of this madness stop and when will everything become wonderful and loving and profitable. And to that question we need to say that the attitudes within your belief structure are giving you exactly what you have allowed to come into your life. Not that we are ascribing blame. This has nothing to do with blaming, but it has all to do with how you feel about yourself, as a mother, as a lover and as a worker. The most prevalent idea within yourself has always been that somehow you do not meet the mark, and therefore things will not go right for you. And this idea is changing, for the steps that you have taken are adding to the changes. What you need to understand, at this point, is not to give up your own self-esteem, your own self-awareness, but to find within yourself that thing that excites you. For the more you feel yourself in a depressive and in an unhappy mood, the less opportunities you are going to recognize.
The things you need to do are to be for yourself, for indeed, no one can love you as you can love yourself. For in the final analysis you are the one that will be your best friend. If a best friend of yours came and asked you for the similar advice, what would you tell them. Your response would be for them to continue searching for more understanding about themselves and to begin to tell others exactly what they would like to do in life. So essentially you would offer them support.
As to the idea of having to find a love, it will come to you. You do not have to want for anything, and yet if one believes that some how someone else can come along and take advantage of you, and that as you get older no one will want you as much
Realize that all of these beliefs are myths, unless you give them power.
So it is up to you. How are you going to think of yourself? You are able to redesign your image to suit what you want to be by rewriting your script and then take action in the manner that your new script allows. Step into that role, be that new individual that is confident, that explores their skills and talents. This approach will be projected outward so that you will be able to step into the position that has been created for you.
Indeed you have many talents, and many opportunities to share you love, however, it is one thing to rely on others for that love, and another to know that you have it all within you and that you are prepared to share this love, not that you need it, but that you are willing to share it. There is a different, but some might say that we are splitting hairs, and we suggest no, it is very important what and how you think of yourself. For if you do not value yourself, how can others.
(17) Dear T.S. I am going through some significant changes and have been for the last couple of years. I suppose I am on a very intensive healing journey. But I am so weary of being and feeling disconnected, frustrated and at times this journey is a very lonely one. In the last two months I feel I'm not even supposed to be living here in Toronto because I feel I have met everyone and done everything I'm supposed to do. I desperately search for meaning in my life but it always somehow evades me. I'm wondering why my faith is being tested so much. I'm not working because I can't stand low-paying, dead end jobs, when I know I'm capable of so much more. Actually, I would like to be able to keep a job but when I start working I get so depressed because I hate the job so much. And I don't have a lot of friends here - I feel I've outgrown them. And a boyfriend - well I haven't had a boyfriend in almost three years and I know the next one I meet won't be from Canada (perhaps you could elaborate on that).
Anyhow now I'm thinking, when my lease is up in the summer, I should pack my bags and travel. You see I've always thought I was meant to do some kind of humanitarian work and that I would do it living abroad. Traveling plans, only vague idea - California, Arizona, France, commune in India. I don't know.
I'm so lost I cry myself to sleep each night. And with both my parents dead, I really don't have anyone to talk to. Please help!
Dear J.B.: If indeed you have all that you can get from this area then you would have left by now. And if indeed all the friends that you have had, you believe that you have outgrown, then there would be new friends to take their place. All of your ideas of relationships also have to do with those sentiments of not liking where you are. To be sure, your feelings that indeed your need to be of service to others and that you sensed that it would be somewhere abroad, does possess some reality. However, if one cannot love where they are, then reality will keep them there until they do. For the lesson is, everything that comes to you is a gift. Situations that you learn from are gifts. Everyone who is there and that you learn from is a gift. So that life brings many gifts to every moment of every day. Being satisfied with where you are, and learning to understand your friends absolutely will hastened your moving on. Also, accepting that relationships are a wonderful thing to engage in, not only because you are lonely or required by society, but because you are so full of life and love within yourself that you are willing to share it, and not that some one's love is going to validate who you are.
And as you evolve in that way, and recognize these ideas within yourself the doors will magically open. Opportunities will be presented to you and there is a high probability that indeed your idea of traveling abroad and being of service is indeed there for you. However, you will not allow yourself to go if there is still issues that you need to learn in the location you now reside in.
For in assisting others, you need to understand what exactly you will be assisting them with. Their circumstances may not contain means for them to leave, because right where they are may be the most profitable place for them to learn and grow. For no matter where anyone is they are always able to recognize their talents and learn to love themselves.
Once you have learn this within yourself, this would be a most valuable experience to pass on. Therefore, to learn love here and now, and within a very short period of time you will be able to move on.
(18) Dear T.S.: I've had readings from psychics and channels over the years which foresee a happy marriage to a wonderful man, and lifestyle that's everything I want and more. Now years and decades later, I'm still single, and barely limping along financially. What's up? Are they simply reading my vision and telling me what I want to hear, or am I blocking it from coming into my life. If the latter, how can I move past the blocks to allow this vision to unfold.
Dear G.S.: In some respects the answer lies within a bit of both. Yes, you have this desire that all these things come to pass and so of course there is the tuning in to that. Also, you have all of these things that are there for you to come to pass and so the psychic readers' tune into that as well. And the only person that allows it all to happen is of course you. Your question as to 'what is the block?', which we would not term it a block but merely an indicator that one might want to look in a different direction. You have proceeded with your life, with your beliefs and ideas more or less in take. What is now becoming apparent is that these ideas and beliefs are no longer working. So therefore, it may be time to examine what a relationship truly means for you. Also, examine how finances come into play as to relationships. Or is it that there is indeed something you can do in order to exchange your energy your services, for that monetary return.
What is it that you truly want out of life. All of these questions need to be answered directly, honestly. Then from that point you will be able to move ahead, for what is preventing you from moving forward, is that what has worked for you in the past is no longer working now.
And so in changing certain beliefs around relationships and how best to express yourself, you can discover what you passion is and then this service can be exchanged for the money. Then you will not have to limp along, and you will not have to be alone. But if indeed you feel that you can only look at things from the way you have in the past, then reality will have to keep saying to you 'look in a different direction and in a different way'. So when you begin to refocus you attention with a different perspective, you will find that life will bring to you the circumstances you desire that are out there for you.
(19) Dear T.S. Greetings, I had heard about you before I came across your advice column in Common Ground's Winter Issue. I have had precognitive dreams, and would be more responsive to energies from others, if I could afford treatment for my health (chronic fatigue/candida/low thyroid) but I cannot.
It is a bit like the poem "water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink". I have a strong pull towards holistic practices and do what I can by way of natural remedies and so on. Unfortunately my relatives regard me as a 'nut case' and treat my concern with disdain, insisting that I be treated psychiatrically. I am confiding something here that I believe from repeated encounters, and from something another psychic said about me, that I am experiencing contact with my spiritual guides, or some entity.
It is very persistent and in my understanding too regular, too intelligent and too well related to my daily reality, simply to be a psychotic manifestation. But I do know that if I talk about this to anyone, I would be called crazy. For that reason I would also prefer not to have this letter printed. Please advise me, I would be most grateful, it would be an answer to my prayers.
Dear M.M.: To the fatigue, it comes about primarily because the system, the body, is taking it's cue from the mental and the emotionality. And when you are not fulfilling yourself or not moving towards that which you know intuitively you to, your subconscious ceases the opportunity to manifest in a physical way what are not being expressed mentally and emotionally. When energy is stopped by resistance or fear, energy is unable to flow easily throughout the system. So that fatigue ensues. And what does the fatigue do? Well, it allows the individual to take time for themselves in which to sort things out. It slows the individual down, providing them with a way in which to examine and reassess what is going on. And as to your family thinking you odd? Do not be concerned about that, for they are merely reflecting your feeling that maybe, in some way you might be odd. You are not crazy, or making things up for there are energies around you that are willing to communicate, and assist you. However, if you are fearful, and if you are having doubts, then this is going to be represented to you as it comes back to you in many different ways. And the family, not supporting you, is indeed one of these ways.
How to move from this situation? First and foremost you need not to have much money here, for all you need do is to take a few meditation courses or you can get information from books within the library system, or tapes. What you need to do is to begin to calm down your worrisome thoughts. Begin to calm your system down, and get in touch with your body. That is the primary reason why the fatigue has come into your life. One can see this as having been a wonderful gift and opportunity. Once you being to calm your system down, calm your thoughts down there will be ample opportunities for information to come through to you. Once you allow this to take place, many other things will also come into your life, which will turn it all around.
Do not worry about what others are saying, do not give that a second thought, that is but you reflecting your doubts about your own sanity. And there is nothing to fear on that count, it is merely a matter that you physically are embodying that which emotionally and your thought pattern have become unable to be expressive.
So that when this energy is pent up, the body is then the one to manifest this. As it were the body is the last place of defense. You are giving yourself a marvellous opportunity to clearly reassess and reevaluate, so that indeed you can receive all the things that you have set up for yourself to receive.
(20) Dear T.S. Greetings: I have been casually seeing a gentleman. I believe there is a strong connection between us it seems like every time we get together I'm either massaging his neck/back, etc. and in general making him feel more relaxed, suggesting he go to the chiropractor, etc. He has expressed a desire to have a more serious relationship; however, I sense that as much as his intentions are coming from a good place, he cannot give me the affection/understanding/feeling of emotional safety that I really and truly need. That being said, I have to confess I do have warm, loving feelings for this person, and realize that part of this may come from being able to speak my mind and speak up for myself with him as with no other before!
I realize you cannot give me the core past life resonating from this situation, but could you give me the life that most pertains to the situation at this time to help me understand the connection we seem to have? (Just as an aside, I hope this time I haven't tortured, possessed or destroyed this chap in a past life and it's now pay-back time hope it's something a little more loving and gentle but so be it if I've been a brute in the past, let me know!)
Thank you very much for your help.
Dear E.C.: The whole interaction with this individual is to show you just how much you have grown. Just how much you have been able to express yourself without fearing that he will walk away. And yet, there still is persistence to keep him around, for you to continue to learn how to express yourself. Yet through this interaction, you still are indicating that there is a small attachment here and that you may be continuing to think that, well maybe if he stays around he may change his mind and truly love you and so on. This indeed is not the individual for you, he has been a wonderful learning experience and you will know when it is time to let him go. Also the idea of the massage, the idea of advising him how to assist his body. That speaks to an issue that you have successfully and cleverly avoided. You have been told many times that you have psychic ability, and that you have certain healing energies around you, and that you have certain ways to use that talent.
Although you have attempted to work with the healing aspects, you found out that doing the healing work requires certain responsibilities, commitments, and discipline. Also that performing energy balancing, where there is excessive need to stand or sit for lengthy periods of time, does not excite you. Yet it has taught you much.
Also when you have periodically engaged in tarot readings, while initially it too was exciting, but then those responsibilities, commitments, and disciplines cropped up - after a while it also became boring. And these too items if you were to do them every now and then would be fine and wonderful. However, to think of yourself having to do them as a life long profession bores you to tears and sends you reeling.
So, what does all of this mean? It means that indeed your abilities are in being of service to others. It is primarily to be in the area of communicating with others in whichever way you feel excited about. This can involve areas where you can express yourself through writing and other forms of communication.
As to the past life that is resonating, we will choose one that does not include mayhem or debauchery or anything of that nature. It was a lifetime in Italy, in the city of Venice and you and this individual were two males. Both of you were very much interested in the arts. You wanted to be a sculptor, he a painter, and you were very supportive of each other. You would talk for hours and hours about art and who at that time was more progressive and who was not.
While both of you made your living with your art, neither one became prominent in the art community. Yet you both had enough to keep body and soul together, and you continued to be supportive and friends, and loved a good debate. And in this present lifetime there is support there, and much debating. It is the talking, it is the expressing of ideas that is what you are assisting each other with.
Therefore, we trust that you will be able to do something with this information. In short, your lesson with this person is about to be concluded and it is time for you to really look at those areas that you really feel excited about, and focus your talents in that area.
Everything is energy and when you understand that you vibrate at a certain frequency, and become comfortable with tuning into that frequency by just becoming aware of it's existence, making contact with your guides and other entities and energies becomes less fearful and less distant.
Fear, doubt, and worry are all emotions that help keep you fore connecting to those things that appear strange, unattainable, and unknown. We tend to want security, sureness and consistencies, because then we are assured that nothing can catch us off guard so we won't have to wonder if we can handle events that we, seemingly have no control over. This makes us feel that we are in control and if we are in control and feel completely sure of situations and how these events will turn out, we can rest easy and not fear either losing, making a mistake or failing.