One morning in October of 1992, as I woke and got out of bed, I felt as if a huge elastic band had snapped inside of me. Over the next two days, the pain got incredibly worse. I was referred to a neurosurgeon.
That night, my husband and I prayed together for healing, and for clear direction from the Lord.
The surgeon confirmed that I had a slipped disk, that I had lost most of the use of my arm, and that it was getting worse. He said that I needed surgery, and that I could not wait. I needed to decide within two days. He told us clearly the risks involved: 20% chance of anything from a headache to complete paralysis. While he was speaking, I "felt" strong waves of No!'s streaming in from the top of my head and down throughout my body.
On the way home in the car, we were silent. Then Jack said to me, "Well, maybe we'll just wait it out."
Later that night, I prayed and prayed that these strong feelings were not from my own fear, but the clear answer we had prayed for...That night, I read Psalm 18,
And while I cried, I felt that He was holding me in His arms.
I knew that my healing had begun the night Jack and I prayed together, and I went forward in faith. The pain was quite unbearable at times and I didn't sleep for 4 months straight. I learned and tried different sleeping positions, and became very dependent on a small neck pillow. I lived and traveled everywhere with this pillow.
I woke every morning with pain and it gradually left as the day wore on.
One night in October of 1994, as I was preparing for bed, I kept hearing quite strongly an urging, "Get rid of the pillow." It was a firm, quiet command, and it wouldn't stop. "All right," I said, and put the neck pillow at the foot of the bed.
Well, I just couldn't get comfortable. I tried my side, then my back, then my other side. I heard then a few times, "Stay on your back." I did, but it wasn't very comfortable. I told the Lord, "Okay, and thank you, and please help me through this night."
I fell asleep and the next morning, and each morning since, no pain.
Since that time, although I no longer woke with pain, I did experience pain whenever I lifted something, exerted myself, walked too quickly, turned my head the wrong way, etceteras. Since it seemed to be quite an unpredictable thing as to what would bring on this pain, which could last up to a week, I have been, needless to say, very gentle and careful with myself.
When my grandson was born in July 1996, I wondered sadly how long I would be able to hold him in my arms, and whether I would be able to baby-sit him. I felt that I had been robbed, and really wallowed in self-pity and misery at times. I wondered at where the Lord was leading me, and if I would be able to do any of these things. I doubted the Voice I heard, saying that He would remove this from me, and I walked and feared as if this injury was part of my life now.
On December 20th, 1997, I wrote these words in my journal:
'That you know My Glory, I shall heal you of this infirmity. That you know My Glory, this shall be gone from you. But know this: it is not so that the hand of God can move, for nothing can stay the hand of God. It is for you, My child, for I love you dearly, and I would have you free of this that has fallen upon you. This is to My Glory, that you know that I love you, and it is simply in this that I heal. My work cannot fail, for it is not you who hold My hand up, but I Who hold your hand up.'
I am a lot like Thomas, and the Lord in His never-ending patience and love for me, is continually allowing me to hear Him and to feel Him in my life.
I believe that my healing is complete now. During the winter of 1998, I went skating with my husband for the first time in 5 years. I have resumed cross-country skiing, and even tried a little roller blading during the summer. We also now do social dancing, having reached level 8, or, what is referred to as 'debut bronze' .
My special passion, however, is biking. Jack and I regularly cycle along the Lachine Canal to the Old Port of Montreal, have a quiet picnic there, and then do the return trip. Each time I complete those 40 kilometers, I give thanks and praise and glory to God for this special gift that I have received from His hand.
And I pick Jacob up, a robust and lively 20 pounds of baby boy...and I have no pain...
Even in our moments of doubt and fear, He picks us up, dusts us off, whispers encouragement in our ear, and sends us on.
Excerpt taken from:
The Unquenchable Fire and Streams of Living Water, a journey in faith
Chapter 5. In His Time, Faith and Healing
Book 1 in the series
