The Store Translation Poetry Etiquette
Today's Sale Make An Offer! Meet The Patients! Contact Me
I am Mental. I am a Patient.I like to sell things!!
World's #1 Source for Toothcrafted
Mugs!
To see the latest Poem Click HERE
KING LOUIS THE TOOTH CRACKER!!!
Beware!!!
"King Louis the Tooth Cracker" is NOT candy!!!
He is a Strong and Powerful Monarch who cracks teeth!!
Many call King Louis the Tooth Cracker "Cruel" and "Deceitful".
I call him "Hard Headed" and "Resilient"!!!
If you are looking for a Monarch that will crack your
teeth when chewed,
then I'd nudge you in the direction of acquiring King
Louis the Tooth Cracker from me.
He's not only a Wise and Benevolent King, he also cracks Teeth!!!!
Asking Price: Prince Crowbar the Metal Bender.
Current Bid: (New on Market)
High Bidder:
You know Donner and Dixon,
And Flapper and Glucose,
Comet and Crumpet,
And Mustard and Sucrose.
But do you recall
The most famous reindeer of all?
(Please sing along)
Ouchy the Green Nosed Reindeer,
likes to play in people's hair!
He lives inside the attic,
he bites people who go there!
If you are Santa Claus, or love somebody who is,
I highly recommend that you buy "Ouchy the Green Nosed
Reindeer" from me!
He is the world's foremost expert in guiding sleighs at night!!!
He will also bite you if you do not bid on him right now!!!
Asking Price: The Grinch who stole Mental Patients!!!
Current Bid: (New on Market)
High Bidder:
ALL ABOARD!!!!
My Train of Thought is departing the Station in 30 Seconds!!
Please find a seat and buckle yourself in!
CHOO-CHOO!!!
We will be travelling at High Speeds over the Beautiful Terrain that is my Mind!
CHUGGA LUGGA CHUGGA LUGGA
CHOO-CHOO!!!
On the way, we will encounter the Wonderous Mountains
of my Imagination,
and forge through the Valley's of my Darkest Fears!
CHOO-CHOO!!!
CHOO-CHOO!!!
We will even visit my "Happy Thought Forest"!!!
At my "Happy Thought Forest", you will be able to debark
and visit my STORE,
where you may purchase one of my Toothcrafted
Coffee Mugs!!!
Did you know that my Toothcrafted Coffee Mugs are truly one of a kind gift items!?!?
They have been VERY well received!!!
Just look at the type of letters I've received from satisfied customers!!!
Dear Mr. Mental Patient:
I have thoroughly enjoyed your brilliance. Recently I ordered one of your mugs and I must say you certainly know how to treat your customers well. I love the poem you wrote about me. And the mug is made of fine quality. It will make a lovely gift to a friend of mine.
I wish you all the best. char clingman
Wasn't that a nice letter!?
Here's another one!!
Dear Mr. Mental Patient:
I'm writing to express my extreme satisfaction with my large-size toothcrafted For Sale By Mental Patient coffee mug. As you may be aware, I purchased one of these mugs a few weeks ago.
The first time I used
it was for tea instead of coffee!!!
The only thing I
had to do differently for this
mug was use *two*
bags of tea, rather than the tea-company recommended one bag. But this
is only because the large-sized For Sale By Mental Patient coffee mug is
so very large. One might describe it as cavernous. Or humongous. Or maybe
epic. But it's definitely better than "Cats."
So, Mr. Mental Patient, based on my painstaking research, I believe you can now safely and legally advertise that your mugs can be used for tea, as well as coffee. I will get back to you as soon as I've completed the cup-of-soup experiment. If you don't hear from me within a year, you may presume the experiment went horribly awry.
Regards,
Karen Hoyt
So there you have it!
Another nice letter!!
My Toothcrafted Mugs are definitely Winners!!!
Anyhow...
Uh....
Where was I???
I'm sorry.
I seem to have lost my Train of Thought.
But that sure doesn't mean I still won't try to sell it to you though!!!
Asking Price: The Gravy Train.
Current Bid: A Gravy Boat.
High Bidder: zzzhhhhhhh
Date of Bid: December 11, 2000 at 13:31:07
When I first heard LUDWIG VAN BEETHOVEN play his Concerto
#9,
it literally brought Tears to my Eyes!!!
How could Nurse Butler have kept this Musical Genius
hidden in her purse
for so many years!!??
Doesn't she realize that an Artist this Gifted should
be sharing his Music
with the rest of the World!?!?
For the sake of Humanity, I quickly liberated Beethoven
from Nurse Butler's Purse,
and immediately booked him to play a Major Concert
in our Institutions Rec Room!!!
My fellow Mental Patients have NEVER been happier!
We all sat transfixed as Mr. Beethoven performed his Beautiful Melody over and over!!
Then, sensing our wonderment, the Great Beethoven suddenly
STOPPED his Concert,
and actually began to SPEAK to us!!!
What a delightful Man he turned out to be!!!
He told us the story of how his real name was GREG,
and that we should all buy
Time Share Condominiums in Barbados!!!!
All we had to do was give him a credit card number!!!
Naturally, one does not turn down invitations such as these!
ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY COME FROM THE GREAT BEETHOVEN HIMSELF!!!
Fortunately, I was able to give him Nurse Butler's credit card number!!
At the end of the day, NOT ONLY had Beethoven treated
all of us to a
wonderful concert, but allowed us to purchase, at
a VERY reasonable rate,
an entire Beach side resort!!!
It's not often that Mental Patients are given such wonderful opportunities!!
If you hurry and BUY the Great Beethoven from me now,
perhaps he will offer you the VERY SAME DEAL!!!
Asking Price: A Musician that plays more then one song.
Current Bid: A wall-mounted fish that sings "Take me to the river!"
High Bidder: Rick Dobbs
Date of Bid: December 5, 2000 at 13:55:37
Opaque and moody, yet precocious and daring, my USA Today "Hot Site"
Award
is a sassy flirt that enjoys "flashing" itself at everyone it sees!
Over the years, this Award has been won by such great men as Albert
Einstein, Ghandi,
and Sir Isaac Newton.
If you buy this award from me right now, I'll throw in one of these great men ABSOLUTELY FREE!!
Asking Price: The Award for Greatest Escape by a Mental Patient.
Current Bid: My mum the professional lap dancer.
High Bidder: Guyver
Date of Bid: December 8, 2000 at 00:07:51
(Irving Tungsten is so lucky!
He Hyper-Radiates naturally!!)
If you're like me, you are a very attractive and handsome Mental Patient!!
But have you ever noticed that you become even more
attractive
under the
Beautiful Glow of a public washroom light??
That's because the inventor of Public Washroom Lighting, Irving
Tungsten, knew exactly what he was doing!!!
Born with a rare condition that causes his skin to "Hyper-Radiate", Mr. Tungsten simply replicated his own beautiful malady in the form of "Tungsten" Lighting!!!
And no one in the world has ever felt insecure about
their looks ever since!!!
At least not while staring at themselves in a Public Washroom mirror!!
Thank you Irving Tungsten!
And Thank you Public Washroom Lighting!!!
Sadly, as a result of my incarceration, I am unable to spend as much
time as I would like staring at myself in the complimentary glow of Public
Washroom Lighting.
Therefore, I wish to sell both Mr. Tungsten and his invention to
the highest bidder.
Asking Price: The Blanket of Invisibility.
Current Bid: The Blanket of Extreme Visibility.
High Bidder: Step-ur-han the deranged
Date of Bid: December 8, 2000 at 09:45:41
(Hand Held Technology
at it's warmest!!!)
Curious about which Security Guard is on duty tonight!?!?
Need to know if anyone saw you put Sawdust in your
trunks!?
Don't FRET!!!
Simply ask your Palm Pilot Urinator!!!
It will tell you the answers to ALL of these questions AND MORE!!!
Then it will conveniently Urinate in the Palm of your hand!!!
Believe me my friend!!!
Hand Held Technology just got a whole lot WARMER!!!
It is Totally Portable, and comes complete with it's OWN supply of Urine!!
Just Imagine!!!
NO MORE lugging around your heavy "Home Urinator"
everywhere you go!!!
Travelling Overseas!?!?
Want to know where the nearest restaurant is!?!?
Of course you do!!!
You're Hungry and Lost!!!
And you CAN'T READ!!!
And you have NO IDEA what a restaurant looks like!!!
And you're TOO FRIGHTENED to ask any of those strange
smelling Foreigners!!!
WHAT DO YOU DO!?
Simply ask your Palm Pilot Urinator for directions!!!
It will calmly LEAD YOU wherever you want to go!!!
Then it will conveniently Urinate RIGHT in the PALM OF YOUR HAND!!!
It's SO simple even a child can use it!!!
The Palm Pilot Urinator!!!
Yes My Friend!!!
Hand Held Technology just got a WHOLE LOT WARMER!!!
Asking Price: Palm Pilot Escaper.
Current Bid: My fish net stockings.
High Bidder: Andre C.
Date of Bid: December 8, 2000 at 11:28:03
(Everyone must follow the
Rules of Thumb! Even fingers!!)
The First Rule of Thumb is: Let Thumb do all
the talking!!
The Second Rule of thumb is: Always do what
Thumb tells you to!!
The Third Rule of thumb is: Never raise your
voice to Thumb!!
The Fourth Rule of thumb is: Never look directly
at Thumb!!
The Fifth Rule of thumb is: Always carry Thumb
proudly above your head!!!
The Sixth Rule of thumb is: Thumb always eats
first!!!
The Seventh Rule of thumb is: Always bow in
the presence of Thumb!
The Eighth Rule of thumb is: Always keep Thumb
happy.
The Ninth Rule of thumb is: Never bend Thumb!!!
The Tenth Rule of Thumb: Never break the Rules
of Thumb!!!
The Rules of Thumb are VERY IMPORTANT to follow!!!
If you don't follow them, YOU WILL UPSET THUMB!!!!
Believe me!!
You don't want to be around Thumb when Thumb is UPSET!!!
Fortunately, there's nothing in the Rules that prevents
me from selling
the "Rules of Thumb" to the Highest Bidder!!!
For a variety of reasons, I wish to do so immediately!!!
Asking Price: The Long Arm of the Law.
Current Bid: My right arm. (My wrong arm wouldn't be right).
High Bidder: Cameron Flint
Date of Bid: November 29, 2000 at 12:08:19
Unlike "The Real McCoy", this McCoy is entirely FAKE!
In fact, he isn't a McCoy at all!
That's how fake he is!!
This is the ORIGINAL Fake McCoy!!
There are NO OTHERS like it!
Sure there are COPIES of it, but they are merely cheap IMITATIONS
of the Fake McCoy!
This is the one and only REAL FAKE McCOY!!
It's a fact!
It's been authenticated by the "Fake McCoy Society"!!!**
"The Real Fake McCoy! Because life is too short to waste it on imitations."
**("The Fake McCoy Society" is a group of 12 highly esteemed fake people).
Asking Price: A real fur coat made from fake animals.
Current Bid: an Authentic Fake Hatfield.
High Bidder: Elizabeth
Date of Bid: November 21, 2000 at 15:10:20
As we all know, Tomato's are a delicious treat!
In fact, if it weren't for their Loud and Frightening
Barks,
we'd ALL probably eat Tomato's Each and Everyday!!
Sadly, this is not the case.
Because of their scary, blood curdling Barks,
Tomato's have become known as the vegetable "to avoid".
Well ALL that's about to CHANGE!!!
Thanks to modern Genetic Science,
I have finally developed the world's first BARKLESS
TOMATO*!!!
This Tomato is SO quiet, you'll think it's sleeping!!
But it's not!!
It's just a Tomato that CAN NOT BARK*!!!
That's the Beauty of Genetics!!!
If you're the type of person who likes Tomato's,
but are frightened by their Loud
Barking,
then this Barkless Tomato* is the Tomato for you!
*Some Barking may occur during shipping. Some Barking may also occur prior to eating, or while chewing.
Asking Price: A Security Guard who can't say "Halt!".
Current Bid: 2 talking penguins and a smelly cork.
High Bidder: Bankt
Date of Bid: November 27, 2000 at 20:57:24
Grenwich Mean Time is the MEANEST Time there is!!!!
It is SO MEAN, it won't even give you the Time of Day!!!
That's pretty mean!
The truth is, Grenwich Mean Time has NEVER been nice!!!
It has ALWAYS been VERY MEAN!!!
It was born that way!!
It won't even allow you to pronounce the "W" in it's
name!!!
They should call it "GRENWICH NASTY TIME" as far as
I'm concerned!!!
Grenwich Mean Time has many "issues" to work out!!
I understand that some people actually LIKE their Time to be Mean.
If you are one of those people,
I highly suggest you acquire Grenwich Mean Time from
me!!!
I assure you, a MEANER Time CAN NOT be found!!!
Asking Price: Happy Fun Escape Time!
Current Bid: Tea Time!
High Bidder: Niamher
Date of Bid: December 8, 2000 at 11:44:18
I created this legendary dance only moments after having my very first cup of Coffee!!
It was back in the summer of 1934, and I hadn't yet realized that I was "Caffeine Intolerant".
Boy! Was that ever a summer to remember!!
For 63 straight days, I did nothing but Jiggle and Gyrate in a series of beautifully choreographed skips, hops and shiny shiny shindigs!
Today, those incredible dance moves are known as "The Cha Cha"!
Sadly, Doctors have prevented me from ever drinking
Coffee again.
Without Caffeine, my "Cha Cha" just isn't what it
used to be.
Though I occasionally chew on the
used Coffee Cups of others,
the caffeine intake I get from this is SO minimal,
it only produces minor hip thrusts!!
NOT a genuine Cha Cha!!
As a result, I am now selling complete rights to my
"Cha Cha" dance.
All I ask is that the High Bidder grant me "The Fox
Trot" in return.
Asking Price: The Fox Trot.
Current Bid: The Runs...Toliet Paper not included.
(By the way...post my Holy Shi for your Hollywoo..you said you would!)
High Bidder: Jeff
Date of Bid: November 29, 2000 at 12:32:30
These Toothcrafted Coffee Mug's are my way of sharing my Incredible Artistic skills with YOU, the "Sophisticated Art Buying" public!
These are NOT your average Coffee Mugs!!!
They are Original works of Art that are doubling in value each and every minute they exist!
Both mugs have NOT ONLY been lovingly Handcrafted with
my very own hands,
but carefully TOOTHCRAFTED with my very own TEETH!!
A company called Cafepress.com
recently COMMISSIONED my "Chewed Art" to appear on
REAL LIVE COFFEE MUGS!!!
That's right!!!
You can now actually PURCHASE
these amazing "Toothcrafted" coffee mugs in a STORE!!!
They are 100% Genuine Replica's of the amazing "chewed" artwork pictured above!!!!
Can you think of a better investment for you or your loved ones!?!?
No!!
You can't!!!
Keep in mind that the Coffee Mugs for sale in the STORE
are NOT the ORIGINALS!!!
Those are FAR too valuable to sell for mere money!!!
I am selling the Originals for something far more important!
A Broomstick that can fly!!!
Asking Price: A Broomstick that can fly!!!.
Current Bid: Date Tea. ("Best beverage for the middle, the old and mental workers.")
High Bidder: Tony
Date of Bid: November 29, 2000 at 19:52:29
Over the years I have accumulated a number of Parts that are Private!
These Parts have never been discussed Publicly!
In fact, they have never even been SEEN in Public!
They are of a very PRIVATE NATURE!
They are NOT for Public Knowledge!
Some of my Private Parts are SO
Private, that I MYSELF have little idea what they are!
I would ask them, but I'm afraid to impose upon their
Privacy!!
All I know is that they are very very PRIVATE, and they want to KEEP it that way!
If you're in the market for some Parts that
like to "keep to themselves",
then perhaps "My Private Parts" are the Parts you've
been looking for!!!
Privacy and Discretion assured to the Highest Bidder!
Asking Price: Pirate Parts. (particularly interested in hands made out of hooks).
Current Bid: 2 out of three of my testicles!
High Bidder: TheCrawFishDefender
Date of Bid: December 8, 2000 at 07:44:40
Originally, Hollywood California was named "Hollywoodland".
It's true!
You can look it up!
In 1923, the name "Hollywoodland" was shortened to
"Hollywood".
The town quickly flourished and became known as a
Mecca for Movie Stars!
A few days ago, I purchased "Hollywood", and had it's name shortened once again!!
It is now called HOLLYWOO.
I expect Hollywoo will become even more Popular then it's predecessor!!!
Without that cumbersome "D" at the end of it's
name,
there's no telling HOW FAR this city can go!
(Special Note: If you know of someone looking to acquire a large letter "D", please contact me privately).
Asking Price: New Yor.
Current Bid: The Su. (It's oh so shiny and playful!)
High Bidder: IIIFIRElll@aol.com
Date of Bid: November 29, 2000 19:56:57
These Precious Rubies come all the way from the Mysterious Orient!!!
I recently discovered them in Klaus Shulinshmitter's Tool Box!
Why would Klaus Shulinshmitter keep Precious Rubies in his Tool Box!?
Because he's obviously from the Mysterious Orient!!!
Duh!!!!
Asking Price: Precious Meat from the Mysterious Cafeteria.
Current Bid: Semi-precious Metals from the Mysterious Rusting Ford.
High Bidder: David Smith
Date of Bid: December 8, 2000 at 13:02:30
(Klaus Shulinshmitter
and one of his tasty Knuckle Sandwiches.)
Klaus Shulinshmitter is a highly esteemed member of our janitorial
staff here at the Institution.
Last night he offered to provide me with one of his
tasty Knuckle Sandwiches!!!
I am not sure why I have been the object of his generosity,
particularly in light of the recent "accidental" damages
I caused to his locker!!
I suppose, like many of the world's great Chefs, Mr. Shulinshmitter simply lives to share his culinary creations with others. It's just his way of giving back to the world, and you really have to admire him for that!
In any case, I am sure his Knuckle Sandwich is a Gourmet Delight!!!
Why, it probably tastes as good as the Chocolate Bar I "accidently" found in his lunchbox while "mistakenly"exploring his locker yesterday!!
Sadly, due to dietary restrictions enforced by my doctors,
I am unable to take Mr. Shulinmiester up on his mouth watering offer.
Do not fear however!
This wonderful Knuckle Sandwich will not go to waste!!!
With the powers vested in me as a Mental Patient,
I am now offering this delicious treat to the highest bidder!
Bon appetite!!!!
Asking Price: A Hero Sandwich (preferably one who will rescue me from this Institution).
Current Bid: A can of whoop-ass. It's got kick!
High Bidder: Colin
Date of Bid: November 21, 2000 at 13:42:52
There may be fruit on the top, but believe me, that's not where the
PROOF
is!!!
The PROOF is IN the PUDDING!!!
I should know!!!
I put it there MYSELF!!!
Don't believe me??
I'll PROVE it to you!!!
All you have to do is buy my PUDDING!!
Asking Price: The Meat pie of Wonder.
Current Bid: My Bi-polar tendencies.
High Bidder: Amanda Gartman
Date of Bid: November 16, 2000 at 13:33:35
If you are a Ghost, then this is the town for you!
I highly recommend you pack your bags and move their
right
away!!
It has EVERYTHING a Ghost could possibly want!
Now buy it from me quickly YOU SPOOKY GHOST,
and get the HECK OUT OF MY ROOM!!
Asking Price: A Ghost removing stick.
Current Bid: The Ghostly Remains Of My Deodorant Stick.
High Bidder: Cuzin Woody
Date of Bid: November 24, 2000 at 05:00:01
This Monkey likes to do his BUSINESS in the bushes!!!
He has been doing it there quite successfully for a number of years
now, but is hoping to retire soon.
He has asked me to help him sell his Monkey Business.
At first I hesitated, but when I looked at his "numbers", I couldn't
believe what a deal it was!!!
His number 2 alone was staggering!!!
If you're looking for a Monkey Business that's already up and running,
then look no further!
This Monkey Business is the Monkey Business FOR YOU!!
By the way, what you do in those bushes is no business of mine!!!
It's Monkey Business!!!
Asking Price: Show Business.
Current Bid: Horse Play (its just bad Acting).
High Bidder: Shifte
Date of Bid: November 23, 2000 at 20:38:48
(The Whole Kit) 
(Most of the Kaboodle)
I recently discovered "The Whole Kit and Kaboodle" while exploring Nurse Butler's office!!
It was clinging to her wall like a Lizard, trying desperately to "blend in" to it's surroundings.
Fortunately, I have keen eyesight, and was able to knock it from it's perch by repeatedly banging my shoe against it's head!!!
Sadly, in the ensuing excitement, I CONSUMED part of the Kaboodle!
Do not be alarmed!
I only consumed a VERY SMALL PORTION of the KABOODLE!!
MOST OF THE KABOODLE IS STILL INTACT!!!
If you're interested in acquiring the "Whole Kit and
Kaboodle",
this is as close as you'll probably ever come!
All you need to do is get a small part of kaboodle from somewhere else and your in business!!!!!
Asking Price: The Whole Shebang on a noodle.
Current Bid: Eight and three quarters of the whole nine yards.
High Bidder: Brent L.
Date of Bid: November 30, 2000 at 12:51:38
(Look in the circles! Those
are the areas you can have Complete Access to!!!)
The High Bidder on this wonderful item will gain Complete Access
to the Diseased Areas of my Banana!!!
They will NOT be restricted from
touching, looking at, or sniffing these Diseased
Areas in ANY MANNER!!!
The Highest Bidder will also be Completely Free to visit, photograph, or simply stare at the Diseased Area of my Banana ANYTIME they'd like!!!
NO TIME LIMIT!!! NO GETTING TURNED BACK AT THE DOOR!!!
To make the process VERY EASY, I have drawn circles around the Diseased Areas of my Banana!!!
Simply follow the arrows to the circled areas.
Therein you shall find the Diseased Portions!!!
These are the areas you will have Complete and Unrestricted
Access to!
Important Note:
The High Bidder will have NO ACCESS to the Non Diseased portions
of my Banana!
As always, those areas are STRICTLY OFF LIMITS!!!
Asking Price: Complete Access to Wichita, Kansas.
Current Bid: Complete access to a playboy with Daryl Hannah.
High Bidder: Smiley
Date of Bid: November 7, 2000 at 14:43:42
They put it in my mouth. I didn't swallow. The savings I pass along to YOU!!!
Asking Price: A fast car.
Current Bid: Tonight's medication.
High Bidder: Eric
Date of Bid: November 23, 2000 at 18:32:56
This is what I see when I squint my eyes!!
Isn't it Beautiful!?
It reminds me of "small fuzzy gems that twinkle like little stars"!!
Sometimes I can squint my eyes for days and days just to see this beautiful sight!
Sadly, as a result of my ongoing "Mental Patient" therapy,
Doctors have outfitted me with a device that prevents
me from squinting!!
Let my "squinting LOSS" be your "squinting GAIN"!
This incredible view is now available to the highest bidder!!!
Asking Price: Tool capable of removing an "Anti-Squinting" device.
Current Bid: Flatulence in a bottle.
High Bidder: Bob McKee
Date of Bid: December 5, 2000 at 23:43:35
I am currently selling a "Room with
a View" of "other rooms"
that have even better views!
The view this room has of those "other rooms" is AMAZING!
Morning, noon, or night, you can always see
those other rooms PERFECTLY!!
In fact, it's almost as if you can see little else!!
That's how INCREDIBLE the view from THIS room is of
those OTHER rooms!!
Some of those "other rooms" have views of the Ocean!!
A few of them have views of a "Nude Beach" and "Perpetual
Sunset in Tahiti"!
That said, if you want a view of these rooms
with the incredible views,
you won't find a more breath-taking view in the world
then the view you will find from my "room with a view"
of those "other rooms"!
Believe me!
I did my research before I acquired this room!
Asking Price: A room with a door that opens.
Current Bid: A fire excape!! (offered by my generous landlord, who was more then willing to give it a way, to get me away!!)
High Bidder: julie
Date of Bid: November 7, 2000 at 09:18:26
When I first formed this rock group back in 1982,
I had no idea their "Art"
would one day be treated as a mere Commodity!
Had I known this, I would NEVER have created the band to begin with!!!
Due to the fact that their "Art" has been tarnished,
I am left with no alternative but to SELL
Metallica to the HIGHEST BIDDER!
Normally I would just give Metallica away for FREE,
but this would only make them seem more like a "commodity".
Therefore, I am looking to sell Metallica for a Big Fat Profit!
Buy them as a group!
Buy them separately!
Buy just their Hair or Teeth!
I really don't care!!
Just as long as they're never treated like Commodities again!!
Asking Price: A band whose "art" shall forever remain untouched by heathens.
Current Bid: A Betamax tape player with corded remote control.
High Bidder: XLNYC
Date of Bid: December 8, 2000 at 14:37:49
I recently came across this object
while exploring a fellow patients room.
I have no idea what it is, but
it sure smells like a Monkey!!!!
Asking Price: A Live Monkey (or similar)
The Store Translation Etiquette
Back to Today's Sale Make An Offer! Meet The Patients! Great Offers Made! Contact Me
Best of luck with your bidding!!
To see more great items continue to page 2, 3, and 4
OR you can click here to see SOMETHING AWFUL!!!
Remember:
"In
the world of E-commerce,
there
is no one more
STRONGLY
COMMITTED
then
Mr. Mental Patient!!"
NEW
ITEMS are placed
up for sale on a Regular Basis!
Check
frequently to avoid disappointment!!!!
If you are interested in my upcoming sales please email me!
I am always on the lookout to
acquire new objects to sell!
If you have something which you
think I may be interested in, please
contact
me!
Copyright Jan.27
2000
last revised Dec. 19 2000